EPILOGUE

"Sixteenth second of Bobby Newmark's death. His hotdogger's
death.
And something leaned in, vastness unutterable, from beyond
the most distant edge of anything he'd ever known or imagined,
and touched him.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING- WHY ARE THEY DOING THAT TO YOU'
Girlvoice, brownhair, darkeyes
KILLING ME KiLLING ME GET it OFF GET it OFF
Darkeyes, desertstar, tanshirt, girlhair
BUT IT'S A TRICK, SEE? YOU ONLY THINK
IT'S GOT YOU. LOOK. NOW I FIT HERE AND
YOU AREN'T CARRYING THE LOOP."


this is from william gibson's count zero (an unbelievably good book). bobby is being killed by "ice", the security system set up by corporations to protect their information on the net. usually it just blocks the way, but this ice was different.

the point of this is, i've always felt i needed to do that, to figure out the trick and slip out of the loop. my mind has been playing a trick on me all these years, keeping me in the past. but it's only a trick. i just have to lift right there, and i can step away, stop it hurting me. i can finally do it. i'm leaving the past where it belongs. i truly want to leave it now; i haven't before. case dismissed.

vampire of happiness

i loom over your shoulder
my hand on your neck

opening my mouth

whisper in your ear
such sorrow

you will forget all happiness

sonido total

Contemos a la inversa
Diez segundos y fuego
Diez
Nueve
Ocho
Siete
Seis
Cinco
Cuatro
Tres
Dos
Uno
¡Cero!

Sonido en el espacio
Silencio en mi cabeza
Rugido inter galá¡ctico

Sonido total, sonido en el espacio
Sonido total, sonido estereofónico

Estamos en la era de la naturaleza
No hay duda.

Sonido en el espacio
Sonido o o o o o o o en el espacio
Sonido en el espacio
Silencio en mi cabeza
Sonido estereofónico

Let us count the reverse Ten seconds and fire Ten Nine Eight Seven Six Five Four Three Two One to Zero

Sound in Silence in my head space inter galactic Roar

Overall sound, sound in space total sound, stereo sound

This is the era of nature no doubt.

Sound in space Sound in space Sound ooooooo space in my head Silence stereo sound

Crimson

My first really deep memories are Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, King Crimson. The Court of the Crimson King. I was 12. I lived in those songs. Somewhere after the light days of The Jackson Five and The Osmonds, I entered the court. Gradually, it all went dark and moody, as I saw more of what humanity was. Precociously, a precociousness that comes when the protection that even casually concerned parents provide is non-existent. I felt this painful knowledge reverberating beautifully, hauntingly, and I was there. This made the pain not less painful, but gave it an aching beauty that made the pain worth knowing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpr0qoDI-cI